They’re Anxious and Overwhelmed—Is This Normal?

Joanna Talbot
May 31
3 min read

Updated: May 31

Understanding the Hidden Stressors in Your Student’s Brain and How You Can Help

You text them and get silence.

Or you get this: “I’m fine. Just busy.”

But you can tell something’s off.

They’re anxious. Snappy. Avoidant. Maybe even shutting down. They’re sleeping too much, or barely at all. They’re withdrawing — from friends, from responsibilities, from you.

And while part of you knows life is hard right now, another part is wondering:

“Is this normal stress… or something more serious?”

Here’s the truth:

Anxiety is the new normal for many college students and recent grads. But that doesn’t mean they have to suffer through it.

Let’s unpack what’s going on — and what actually helps.

🚨 A Generation Running on Overdrive

Today’s students face a perfect storm of pressure and uncertainty:

💼 Sky-high expectations with a shaky job market
📱 Constant comparison on social media
💰 Financial stress from student loans and rising costs
🧠 An underdeveloped prefrontal cortex (aka, their decision-making “CEO”)

In short: they’re trying to launch their adult lives with a brain still under construction — and a world stacked with uncertainty.

So yes, your student might be anxious. But it’s not a personal failure — it’s a neurobiological and social setup that requires support, not shame.

🧠 What’s Happening in the Anxious Brain

When your student feels overwhelmed or “stuck,” their brain is likely trapped in a threat-response loop — the same one designed to protect us from predators.

Only now, the “predators” are:

Career pressure
Identity confusion
Fear of disappointing you (yes, even if you’re supportive)

In this loop:

🔁 The amygdala (alarm center) stays on high alert
🚪 The prefrontal cortex (logic/planning) goes offline
🪫 They freeze, avoid, or lash out — not because they’re lazy, but because their brain thinks survival is at stake

❌ What Doesn’t Help

You might be trying all the right things — but still hitting walls. Common well-meaning phrases that often don’t land well with anxious young adults:

“Just make a list and tackle it.”
“Everyone feels like this. It’s part of growing up.”
“You need to stop overthinking and just do something.”

Why they backfire: These comments sound rational to an adult brain. But to an anxious, still-developing brain, they can feel dismissive — or worse, add pressure.

✅ What Actually Helps

1. Validate First, Problem-Solve Later

Try:

“It makes sense you’re overwhelmed — there’s a lot on your plate. Let’s figure out how you can take this one step at a time.”

Validation calms the nervous system. It tells their brain: “I’m safe. I’m not alone.”

2. Offer Coaching, Not Fixing

Say:

“I found a coaching program that helps students figure out their next steps without pressure. It’s focused on clarity, structure, and real progress — not therapy, not lectures. Want to take a look?”

This opens the door without forcing them through it.

3. Encourage Action Over Perfection

Perfectionism feeds anxiety. Instead, help them embrace:

Small, experimental actions
Progress over outcomes
Curiosity over pressure

This is exactly what coaching supports.

🛠 What Coaching Does for Anxious Students

Our coaching approach is brain-based and emotionally smart.

We help students:

Understand their stress response
Break down big decisions into manageable steps
Build emotional regulation, resilience, and confidence
Create a future that feels exciting — not terrifying

They walk away not just with plans, but with tools for life.

❤️ Final Thought: You’re Not Overreacting

If you’re worried, it’s not because you’re controlling or overbearing. It’s because you care. And the good news is — your concern can be the first step toward real relief.

Let them know they don’t have to navigate this alone.