Are You Chasing the Wrong Dream? It’s Time to Rethink What Success Means

Your well-meaning parents taught you to get good grades, get into a good school, get a good job, so you can be happy. But that’s not really how it works…

Let’s face it: We’re all told that success is the end-all-be-all. From the moment we’re kids, we’re conditioned to chase good grades, get into the best schools, land prestigious jobs, and earn a nice paycheck. But here’s the problem — when we finally get there, we often find ourselves burnt out, disillusioned, and questioning why happiness still feels out of reach.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’ve hit all the so-called “success milestones” and yet you don’t feel fulfilled, you’re not alone. This is a problem many people face — especially in their college years and early careers — and it’s worth addressing head-on.

1. Expectations vs. Reality: The Pressure to Achieve

From a young age, we’re sold this idea that success equals happiness. If we get the grades, win the awards, land the dream job, and make the money, then happiness will come. But here’s the thing: the reality doesn’t always match the picture we’ve painted. You might hit those milestones and still feel empty, questioning why you’re not happier. The truth is that success in the traditional sense doesn’t guarantee fulfillment. It’s easy to get caught up in achieving for the sake of validation, but it’s also important to ask: is this what you really want?

2. Chasing External Approval: The Empty Pursuit

We all crave validation. Whether it’s praise from our parents, recognition from a boss, or likes on social media, we’re wired to seek approval. But the problem with relying on external validation for happiness is that it’s fleeting. If your self-worth is tied to achievements — grades, promotions, titles — you’ll always find yourself chasing the next thing to feel worthy. True happiness comes when you stop seeking outside approval and start cultivating inner peace and authenticity.

3. Burnout: Reaching the Top, Only to Feel Empty

As a high level Wall Street executive myself, with 30 years on the job, I can tell you burnout is real. It happened to me. I got everything I thought I wanted and I wasn’t happy. Through coaching professionals, from graduates right up to the C-Suite, I realized I wasn’t alone. Like me, these very successful people had tirelessly climbed to the top, but when they got there they realized that the success they built their identities around didn’t bring them the joy they expected.

It’s not just long hours or a packed schedule that leads to burnout — it’s when your sense of self is tethered to your accomplishments, and those accomplishments no longer give you the satisfaction you were hoping for. The pressure to keep up can leave you exhausted, mentally and emotionally, forcing you to question: Is this really all there is?

4. Reflecting on Your Path: What Does Success Mean to You?

At some point, you have to step back and ask: What does success really look like to me? Is it getting into the Ivy League, landing that corner office, or having a six-figure salary? Or is it creating a life that aligns with my true values and passions, where I feel fulfilled and at peace? Here’s the reality: success is deeply personal, and it’s not always about checking boxes on a list that someone else made. You need to define success for yourself, based on what truly matters to you, not what others expect.

5. It’s Okay to Redefine Your Path

Feeling burnt out, unfulfilled, or stuck is not a sign of failure — it’s a sign that it’s time to reassess. If you’ve been following the traditional path to success and it’s not making you happy, it might be time to redefine what success means for you. Happiness doesn’t come from checking off external accomplishments; it comes from aligning your life with your true self, from being authentic and doing what feels right.

If you feel like you’ve been running a race you never really chose, don’t worry. It’s okay to take a step back, re-evaluate, and forge your own path. After college, give yourself some grace. I tell my clients, give yourself five years to fail, learn, and grow. Once you give yourself this freedom, you will find your life naturally aligning. Why? Without fear and anxiety holding you back you will enjoy the process, take more risks, and open more doors.

Building your self-worth doesn’t happen overnight — it’s a process. The key is to stop waiting for external validation to make you feel good enough, and to start recognizing that you are good enough as you are.

6. How to Get There: Start with Inner Fulfillment

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from working with executives, it’s this: you can’t attract anything meaningful into your life until you’ve built a solid foundation of self-worth. Start by carving out time for what truly makes you happy — time without distractions, time for your relationships, time to reflect. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to tap into your potential and act from a place of genuine purpose.

The secret to thriving, not just surviving, is to stop living to work, and start living for what brings you joy. This doesn’t mean giving up ambition or working hard — it means doing it with a sense of balance, authenticity, and alignment with who you truly are.

Final Thoughts:

If you want to thrive, you’ve got to start by getting curious about you. Not your job title. Not your grades. Not your salary. Who are you when you’re not chasing external validation? What do you need to feel fulfilled? When you’re aligned with yourself, you’ll stop worrying about fitting in and start standing out in the best way possible.

Don’t get stuck in a life you don’t love. It’s okay to take risks, fail, and start again — because when you’re true to yourself, success will come in ways you can’t even imagine.

At uNeed A Coach, we get it. The path to true fulfillment isn’t always clear, but we’re here to help you find it. Whether you’re in college or starting your career, let’s work together to redefine what success really means for you.

Remember: It’s not about having it all figured out — it’s about enjoying the ride. If you’re ready to start living life on your own terms, reach out to us today.

Get in touch to schedule a free consultation.